More to come.

A letter to my daughter

Dear little one inside of me,
We wonder who you’re going to be.
We asked for you and there you were,
That life changing moment did occur.
I remember the day I suddenly knew,
It was such early days but I knew it was true.
I took three tests just to be clear,
Three positive results did appear.

I’ll admit at that moment I felt kind of blank,
It was hard to believe it to be frank.
I told your dad he had a gift for his birthday,
‘Is it an ice cream?’, is what he had to say.
That was weird because it was snowing outside,
But it shows what was going on inside our minds.

I was shocked for some reason, the truth hit me with force,
Although I do know how babies are made of course.
I had never felt ready to have a baby,
It’s something we’ll do one day, maybe.
But honestly that day something changed,
Words between you and I were exchanged.
You were a little sesame seed,
But a bond between us was agreed.

The first 16 weeks were not much fun,
A few times I said ‘No thanks, I’m done!’
Vomiting my way through the day,
Trying to keep the anxiety away.
Not being able to tell anyone,
A sober Christmas, thanks a tonne.

In Jan we saw you, a little bean,
It was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.
And I’ve seen some stuff so let’s be real,
Me saying that is quite a big deal.
We told a few people but you have to know,
I do have some worries about you so,
It’s hard for me to know it’s okay
and that makes me not know what to say.

Being pregnant makes me very queasy,
But loving you has been so easy.
We all kind of knew you were a girl,
During the scan you gave us a little twirl.
You’re the girl I secretly hoped for.


And now on my birthday you are 30 weeks,
So many people love you heaps.
And though I wasn’t sold on the baby thing,
It’s crazy the amount of joy you already bring.
I will forgive you for stopping me from having that wine,
Soon alcohol will once again be mine.

Happy birthday to me, and 30 weeks to you,
There is one small thing for me you could do.
It is my birthday after all,
The favour really is quite small.
I’m asking you to stop the heart burn and let me rest,
No complaints otherwise, obviously I know I’m blessed.

21.05.2022

You’re so cool

Ayla Afeen, that’s your name,
Our lives will never be the same.
3 days of labour, the struggle was real,
Pushing out a baby, kind of a big deal.

Auntie Imogen and Bapak were down ‘that’ side of the bed,
They’ll never forget that they saw your head!
It was long, it was hard, and man it was rough,
I didn’t know I was that tough.

Our very own pumpkin head,
You stared at me from across the bed.
I never knew love could exist like that,
And that’s coming from someone obsessed with their cat.

I’m tired, I’m sore, feeling far from glam,
Sometimes I’ve forgotten who I am.
Sleep is a memory, my eyes are on fire,
But still I stare at you and admire.

Carry you around all day long,
My super cute, intense cling on.
“Look at those cheeks, what amazing hair”,
All the old ladies like to stop us and stare.

You’ve changed our lives in every way,
Controlling all of every day.
But would we change you if we could?
Of course not no, we never would.

You’re our girl Ayla Afeen,
The very best girl we’ve ever seen.
And even though you’re very small,
You sure know how to rule it all.

Ayla Afeen, you’re so cool,
Our shouty little ball of drool.
You are a mood, judgy and fun,
You’re still cute when you’re feeling glum.

We can’t wait to see who you become,
You’re already our number one.
You’re our fiery chick, our adik,
Even if we could choose, you’d be who we’d pick.

15.09.22

Is she okay like that?

How long does your baby let you sleep,
I’m sure she should be rolling, is she weak?
What milestones has she met this week?

Don’t put your baby on the floor,
Is she entertained, does she need more?
How many toys does she have to explore?

Don’t let your baby stroke your cat,
She might sneeze, imagine that.
How are you doing with your baby fat?

I think you’ll find it’s cold out there,
How many layers should she wear?
She might feel a chill, don’t you care?

Don’t let her stand up for too long,
I’m here to tell you that you are wrong,
Aren’t you bored of that same song?

A nap routine is what you need,
Is she full after every feed?
How many baby books do you read?

If she cries you should leave her be,
I’d pick her up if it were me,
You’ll regret that in time, you’ll see.

Enjoy every moment it goes so fast,
She’s only small once, it won’t last,
What do you mean you miss life in the past?

You’re doing great, you’re doing your best,
I’m proud of you, ignore the rest,
It’s okay to feel a little stressed.

Should I take her, can I help you?
You do whatever you think you should do,
Do you need me to tie your shoe?

I know your body is still feeling sore,
I know you now do so much more,
You’re still the person you were before.

You’re a hero in my eyes,
And in your baby’s, even when she cries,
It’s okay to feel the lows along with the highs.