Selamat Hari Raya to all celebrating! Good old Malaysia loves a public holiday and so we got a 3 day weekend for Beth’s hen do. It was planned and executed perfectly by Jen and Jess- great job guys.

We flew to Langkawi for the weekend with lots of plans but slight anxiety about pulling them off. Hari Raya had caused many things to be closed and Malaysia is not that good at communication generally. We had kept everything a secret from Beth so we felt at least if things didn’t go to plan she wouldn’t be aware…

We produced this incredible t shirt at the airport much to Beth’s delight. When we got to Langkawi airport we abandoned Beth looking like a distressed child with all the luggage so that we could go and change into our matching tops! Ours say “The girls” on the back as a tribute to Batu and Bungah.

We waited A LONG TIME for the cars and then let Jen leave with 3 men. Luckily she came back as we all sat around discussing how it could have been all round kidnapping. We stocked up on alcohol and food, ate dinner and then arrived at our beautiful villas complete with pool and amazing view.

The first evening was one dedicated to staying in, singing karaoke and drinking prosecco.

It was really very warm so we couldn’t fully embrace the t shirts. After some Pocahontas and Les Mis classics (obvs) Jen produced the best game ever “Cards about the Byrnes”. It was very funny and very well made. Good one Jen.

Then came the main event. A very well made strip tease video of Beth’s crush (who I will not name) courtesy of Sarah with a guest appearance from Lizzie and her lanyard.

It was the highlight of the weekend, so thank you Beth’s crush.

We drank a lot of prosecco, sang a lot of songs and learnt some new information about how Beth’s brother was born with gills because we all adapted from fish. We learnt similarities between Beth and Beyoncé and Beth was mortified that Ashley thinks her favourite flavour crisps is cheese and onion.

The next day we got up and went on another mystery journey. One of us may have thrown up by the side of the road on the way. We arrived at our location, saw a child from POWIS (much anxiety from Sarah) and then boarded our yacht. I’ve never been on a yacht before and it was cool. We had free flow drinks, a really nice lunch, amazing weather and views and free rein of the music.

Beth decided to continue her diving career after the previous weekend at the water park.

Extreme and pure joy occurred at being very close to Alice in a life ring.

The strangest but greatest part of the yacht was when we were invited to lie/hang on for dear life to a fishing net attached to the back of the boat. Defined as a “jacuzzi” this was basically a rope pulling you through the water whilst you got thrashed about by the streams of water and tried not to lose your bikini. Sarah got stung by something but it was okay because they had a bottle of vinegar on hand #malaysia. It was a really fun and memorable experience.

In the evening we tried to go for a sophisticated meal but were hit by a storm.

We then produced a Beyoncé style leotard for Beth to wear, and tried to face time Ashley who was wearing a matching one. However he was too busy looking at himself to listen to us so we gave up. Then we had an awkward birthday song played by the staff due to a misunderstanding of the celebration.

After some spy work from Sarah and Alice we moved on to Yellow Cafe where Sarah randomly ran into a friend she met in Sri Lanka. Great opportunity to use him as a pretend stripper.

Very stressful for Beth. After all this we did some beach jump photos and moved on to the main event of the night, more slightly bizarre places and experiences.

Marrakech. A very strange place. We later learnt that this is where year 6 stay on their residential. Think we made a good (memorable) impression.

Camels in the entrance. A bridge with lights. “Why have you brought me here?” asked Beth.

We had a two hour karaoke booth with free beer. We went over our time. Beth and I did a great Avril Lavigne set. When the man came to kick us out we ignored him. After this it was 3am but some of us continued on. The rest of the night consisted of a lot of alcohol, Beth being the centre of attention with her leotard poppers creating a kind of tail that flapped behind her as she danced, swimming at 6am and plates of chips.

The next morning was an interesting one as we checked out and went to the Bon Ton for lunch- Beth and Ashley’s favourite spot. I enjoyed the symmetry.

“We” (some not all of us) managed to break both of the women’s toilets during our time there and there was another storm which resulted in me dropping precious elements of my meal onto the floor in a dash for safety. We learnt that our flight was 3 hours delayed and emotions were low. Luckily there were some cats about for happiness levels.

At the airport this was life:

Sarah made emergency gin and tonics, we played Word Link, Beth tried on perfumes and asked us for our opinions and then finally at 8pm we set off back to Penang. I sat next to a child on the plane who kept trying to feed me.

It was a very fun weekend. I had genuine fun and that hasn’t been easy for me. We all got emotional about our friendships and our Penang family. Also we took metal straws with us to save plastic as a tribute to Beth’s beach clean up group. Here are some quotes from Beth that I loved the most:

“I’m just a one man kind of girl”

“I love Ashley but girls are MORE, girls are MORE”

“Ashley isn’t a man, he’s more.”

“I can’t be a good wife because I’m in love with Jen”

We all agreed that we are “more” and I definitely have a lot of love for my Penang family who have pulled me through this year and who have kept me from abandoning my life. Happy hen weekend Bethy, I absolutely cannot wait to celebrate your wedding next month because even though I prefer you I also love Ashley a lot too.